I was moved by the response to my 10 Ways to Adapt to Prison, especially by the comments that came from readers who had loved ones in prison. Your kind words inspired me to make a list of the various ways you can support a friend or loved one that is imprisoned. If I’ve left off anything, you can always reach out and tell me. A great resource for finding out more about prisons in the US is Inmate Search.
- Keep us in your life. Help us remember that there is more to us than just a prison ID number by making contact. Even a birthday card once a year might be enough. Being completely cut off from the world makes us rely heavily on prison politics to be emotionally stimulated, and these can cause terrible results.
- Don’t leave out the fun or exciting times when talking to us. Even if you think it, you are not torturing us by describing a great meal you had and enjoyed, while we eat horrible food. We are indirectly living through you, so tell me about the new great pizza place, or bacon and cheeseburgers.
- Share your problems with us. Sometimes we need to be reminded that you are dealing with issues back at home. We need to be reminded about work, health issues, bills and family obligations. We can be sympathetic and understanding which might surprise you.
- Send home pictures. It can be hard sometimes to remember what life is like beyond these walls. Take us on a sabbatical out of prison by sending us pictures of you even in everyday settings (especially in everyday settings).
- Don’t forget our birthday. Prisoners often like to point out that their birthdays are not special because they are like any other day. However, plenty of friends have shamelessly pointed at their date of birth as they show me their ID card. They were hoping for a meal as I’m a good cook. I share my birth month with four other family members and one year, my uncle had my name added to the birthday cake, took a picture of it and sent it to me. I cried hard when I received that picture.
- Every once in a while, make us feel great at mail call. If you attended school camp or any other camp, then you know that your peers are very envious when you get a bunch of letters. If it’s too much work going to the post office or you don’t feel like it, ask us to send you stamps if we can. They are used as currency in prison and can be easily acquired. We can buy them at discounts from each other. Write a few letters, print hilarious memes, take a few pictures and put them all in separate envelopes. Keep them someplace safe that you’ll remember like your car, and mail them when you can throughout the week.
- Engage our minds. Prison is supposed to make us feel less than and powerless. To the system and sometimes even the outside world, we are inmates and lack knowledge. You, however, know better, right? We are chronic new consumers. You can ask as our opinion on the issue of the day. Or, try reading an article and a book at the same time, while engaging a small book club all day long.
