Going through a divorce is not only hard for both the spouses but also for everyone around them. It is not easy to see someone you love go through so much. It can be extremely hard to explain to your kids that you and your spouse are separating, and often kids are caught in the middle of this whirlwind. It can be quite a rough patch, and if your child does not deal properly with the divorce, they will be burdened with it for the rest of their lives. In order to ensure that they cope well, there are certain things that you should follow. It is very hard to help your kids cope, let alone cope yourself, but here are a few tips to make it easier.
Check and observe their reaction
Once you break the news to your kids, wait for their reaction. You must listen carefully and accept everything that they are feeling. It is okay for them to feel a range of different and extreme emotions to process such a big change in their life. You can consider counseling to help your child process the news. Do not feel bad if your child reacts angrily or blames you for the divorce. Provide a safe space for them where they can share their true feelings.
Keep up with your routines
A child can have a big issue in dealing with your divorce if their everyday routine is turned upside down. Be sure that your child’s tuck-in hours and mealtimes stay the same, that you spend time with them and not make any major changes in their lives. They are already going through an immense change that they were not ready for. It is better to ease them back into everything else.
Don’t force them to choose sides
Children tend to rebel when they think that they will not maintain the same kind of relationship with both parents after the divorce. Experts at Litvak Litvak Mehrtens and Carlton, P.C advise that even though there might be many problems between the parents, that should not affect their relationship with their child. It is important to make sure that your kids feel free to share important life details with each household. Even though your relationship with your ex might end, your child’s will not.
Don’t throw money around
It is quite common for parents to throw a lot of money around for getting gifts for their children during such times. You might think that it helps your children cope, but it is only forming negative coping mechanisms for the future. Overspending out of guilt is not a way to make up for a divorce. This behavior might actually do more harm than good for your kids, and it is important to remember that spending money does not always solve problems.
Going through a divorce might be hard for you, but it is equally hard for your children. Make sure that your children feel comfortable enough to talk to you about such matters.
