Many people worldwide get abused every day, mostly women. Most of them don’t even recognize it or do anything to stop it. There are many different kinds of domestic violence that you should know. If you are a victim, then you should do everything in your power to escape and get freedom. Your life is worth much more than what your abuser has you believing. Here are some things that might help.
Know The Different Types
Spiritual
Spiritual violence is when your partner doesn’t allow you to have any opinions about religion, values, and cultural beliefs. They might also make you feel powerless and doubt every decision. Even shaming is a part of spiritual abuse.
Physical
You may have frequent fights that end up with you being in physical pain and leave bruises or cuts on your body. If your partner hurts you, then you should consider leaving or getting support.
Social
Social violence is when a person shames or insults you in public. It will also be valid if your partner doesn’t let you leave for social gatherings, to meet family, and continuously tells where you can and can’t go.
Financial
Financial violence is when your partner controls all the finances and keeps you dependent. They don’t let you work, open up a bank account, invest, or anything remotely financial because they want to control you.
Emotional
Emotional abuse is one of the worst, and some people endure it for most of their lives. If your partner is continually degrading you, destroying your confidence, and pushing you down at every turn, then consider getting help. Otherwise, they might slowly drive you to insanity. It is also possible to be a victim if your partner threatens you.
Sexual
Sexual abuse is something that has physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental effects that are often long-lasting. If your partner forces themselves on you, hurts during a sexual act, or practices any indecent behavior, then you are a victim. This should never be left alone, and you should take immediate action.
Seek Medical Care
If you ever get hurt after an act of domestic violence, or any other, immediate go to the nearest hospital or clinic. Whether you want to protect the abuser or not is your choice, no one will force you to say anything. However, it is essential to tell the doctor what happened to get the best possible treatment. If you do decide to talk about it with any member of the staff at the medical center, they will provide all the support and help they possibly can. Consider writing down all the injuries, the date they happened on, what caused it, name of the hospital, doctor’s name, and anything else that is related, in a diary or journal, and properly hide it somewhere your partner can’t find. The log of records will be extremely helpful if you ever decide to take legal action or leave.
Think About The Kids
If you have kids, then you should think about the effects the abuse has on them. Children can get emotionally scarred for life. Seeing their parent continually being the victim of their other parent’s abuse might make them think that it is normal, which can result in them growing up to be abusive. Research shows that most young kids that faced murder charges were trying to protect their mother from an abusive father.
If you are pregnant, getting abuse can be horrible for the baby. It can result in either your or the unborn’s death.
If your kids are getting abused too, then you should take immediate action. It can be devastating on their physical, mental, and emotional health. You should immediately contact child services or the police in this case.
Talk To Someone
It would be best if you tried to talk with someone about this. If your partner isolated you from all family members and friends, confide in someone that can be trusted. The person can be your landlord, mailman, neighbor, or they can be someplace you are allowed to visit like the grocery store. Make sure they understand your situation correctly. Try to ask them if they can contact any friend, family, lawyer, or police. It is a way to stop suffering in silence. They can also be accommodating in emergencies.
Come Up With A Protection Plan
A protection plan will be beneficial if there is an urgent need to flee from the house. It should include what you will do with the kids and a list of their items to take along. It is very important if you are in an abusive relationship or recently got out of one. Your ex-partner might come back and try to abuse again, especially if you still live in the same house. Even if you have a court order.
If you decide to change houses, they can still find and start to threaten you again. A protection plan will benefit you and your kids to get to safety.
Usually, there is a period of calm after a domestic violence act. This is when the abuser feels remorse and tries to improve relations again for a while. However, the tension keeps building up from inside and they act out again. You will need a protection plan for when they do.
These are some things that you should consider while coming up with one:
- Look into past behaviors and try to figure out their triggers. It may be alcohol, stress at work, or something else. If you see any of these happen, figure out what needs to be done.
- Think about any safe places that you can go to if there is any danger. You can consider going to a church, mosque, shelter, friend’s house, or any place where there is someone who can keep you safe.
- Figure out a way to get to your safe place. You should keep some extra money stashed somewhere. If you are unable to save some cash, take a taxi to a friend’s house or go to the neighbor. You can also ask any trusted person in advance to pick you up if a threat is imminent.
Keep Things With You
You should make a copy of all the following papers, and any other if required. If there is a threat, you do not want to waste any time searching and collecting things.
Keep all these things on you:
Birth certificate
Passport
Citizenship papers (if there are any)
Immigration papers (if there are any)
Child custody papers (if there are any)
Abuser’s information
Court orders
Health card
Social insurance card
Money
Credit cards
Checkbook
Bankbook
Savings bonds
Personal telephone
Address book
Medicine
House keys
Driver’s license
Car keys
Children’s favorite toys
Few days clothing
Valuable jewelry
Get Legal Assistance
If you are thinking of taking the situation to a legal level, then you should hire an attorney. If you live in Southern California, then a Los Angeles Domstic Violence Lawyer might be your best choice. A good attorney will help you get a restraining order, prosecute the abuser to the full extent of the law, or anything in between. The money will not be a problem because they don’t charge anything for the consultation. Finding an experienced prosecutor who is aggressive and has affordable rates shouldn’t be difficult. They work to help victims and do everything they can.
Familiarize Yourself With The Terminology
While you are talking to any person, or lawyer, it can be advantageous to know the words used in these cases.
Bail Hearing
It is a court process where a judge decides whether or not to let the defendant leave jail during the course of the trial.
Criminal Harassment
If your abuser is continuously following you around and watching your every move, this is an offense called criminal harassment. It is also called stalking, in simple terms. It is very common for women who run away from their partners.
District attorney
This is the highest office for a government prosecutor in a particular area, mostly a county. They handle all the cases against criminals.
Custody
There are different types of custodies. However, you are responsible for a child’s wellbeing if you have primary custody. Their other parent could also have partial custody, meaning they are allowed to visit in the terms set by a judge.
Legal Aid
It is a free service for women who can’t afford any other legal help.
Order of Civil/Family Court or a Restraining Order
If you fear an attack from someone but don’t want to go to the police and make a big case out of it, visit the nearest civil court and file for a restraining order. It says that the abuser must stay a set area away from you at all times, and if they are closer then the police can arrest them. A typical restraining order is 500 yards.
Probation
It is a court order for a criminal that is part of a sentence. An offender will have to follow some rules if they are released on probation; otherwise, they will be thrown back in jail.