When you meet someone special in your life, everything in your life starts to change. You are happier, you feel good about yourself, and you are always motivated to do even the normal tasks. You start to think that you are destined to be together with that person forever, and you plan out your entire future. But as time passes, things begin to change. You start having trouble in your relationships, but that is okay! There is not a single couple on earth who have never fought. You will have good days in your relationship, and you will have bad days as well. Sometimes couples recover easily from fights and sometimes it takes time. But when things become repetitive, and you find yourself in the same spot again and again, it is time for you to reevaluate your relationship. If you do not realize at the right time, everything that seems like heaven will quickly turn into hell. The person you love so much will start doing things that you would never imagine.
A relationship can turn into an abusive one if you keep going back over and over again. Also, sometimes you want to get out of it, but the person can blackmail you emotionally or physically. Abuse in a relationship can take many forms. It could be physical, emotional, or even sexual. The person you once loved can turn into a different person. And when love takes this form, it is not love anymore. You need to get out of that sort of relationship as soon as possible. There is a fine line between a healthy fight and an abusive fight. It is important for you to know when that line is crossed. So, if you have been in such a relationship and do are struggling to get out of it, here is what you can do.
Recognize It Is Abuse
The first step you need to take to get out of an abusive relationship is to recognize the abuse. But it is not as simple as it sounds. When you are in love with someone, and you have valued that person for so long, you will not be able to see things clearly. Sometimes the abuse will seem like a regular fight to you. You get used to some of the things in a way that they start to feel normal to you. And do not forget that abuse can take many forms. Some people think of abuse only as physical abuse. But that is not the only form of abuse. The majority of the people who face abuse in a relationship, face it in an emotional form first. It could be humiliation, degradation, or intimidation. It could be sexual abuse as well when you are being forced into it, or you are getting hurt by it. Another form of abuse is financial abuse, about which not a lot of people know about. This form of abuse refers to your partner forcing you to give over the control of your assets. The person could ask you to give their paycheck to them, which can force you to work fewer hours and can also force you into dividing your assets. Once you have realized that you are being abused, you are ready to take your next step forward.
Do Not Blame Yourself
If you are being abused and you think you are the one at fault, then you are wrong. Realizing that it is not your fault is a huge step towards getting out of it. A lot of people start getting used to the abuse, and they start to think that it is normal. To get out of that, you need a push, and that push can come in form the realization that it is not your fault and you do not deserve it. You should stop making excuses for letting your partner abuse you physically or emotionally. No one deserves to be hit by or controlled by another person against their will. Your abuser will try to manipulate you and will force you to believe that everything is happening because of you. They will tell you that you are not easy to deal with and no one else can put up with you and you do not deserve anything better. Remember, none of that is true and they are just trying to manipulate you. Know your value, respect yourself and understand that you deserve better.
Pack a Bag for Emergencies
When the behavior of your partner is not stopping, you need to be prepared to leave at a moment’s notice. If things are getting out of hand, you need to pack an emergency back for your own safety. Take a bag and fill it with all the necessary things, i.e., money, clothing, toiletries and medications. You also need to make sure that you have all your necessary documents in that bag including your educational documents and your birth certificate. You can hide the bag in a safe place in your house, or you can give it to someone you trust like a friend or a neighbor. Abuse can turn into a life-threatening situation as well and God forbid if something like that happens to you, you need to get out of the house and call the police immediately. If things get worse, you should move to another place and it is recommended that you should hire a Restraining Order Lawyer and get a restraining order as soon as possible. This is for your own safety and you should not hesitate to act on this.
Save Some Money for Emergency
If you are in a relationship where you do not have any control over your finances or you are just not working because your partner is providing for the house, then this is an important point for you. No matter how you and your partner and making this abusive relationship work, it will end eventually. And when it ends so quickly, you could be on your own with no money and nowhere to go. This is something that is very scary, and you do not want that to happen at all. So you must save some amount of money. Your abuser may have control of your finances, but if you are still getting something, you should save as much of it as you can. If you have not worked for a long time or only have just a few skills, you might want to start learning some new skills. This will help you get a job as soon as you are out of that abusive relationship. Make sure you have saved enough money that can last you for a month, at least. You cannot survive without money in this world so make sure you have your finances in order.
Let Your Friends And Family Know
When you are going through a tough time like this, it is important for you to reach out to your friends and family and get a support system for yourself. You do not need to suffer alone with this. Things may seem bleak at times, and you should not be on your own in such times. Your friends and family love you and when you reach out to them, they will support you fully. Some people think that it is a private matter and they will not involve anyone else in it. But that is not the case. When they are hurting you, you must reach out to your loved ones and get support from them. This is a sneaky tactic used by abusers that they will force you to push the important people in your life away. So, do not let yourself fall for that and always stay in touch with your loved ones. It will also make sure that when you have finally left that abusive person, you will have somewhere to go.
Move On
Once you have realized your importance and have left that abusive person for good, it is time for you to move on to the next chapter of your life. It is understandable that moving on is not that easy. And when you go through an abusive relationship for such a long period of time, it will leave some psychological scars behind. You may feel like that you cannot be in another relationship or you are just not capable of it, but that is not true. Realize that it was not you; it was the other person who ruined the relationship when he or she started abusing you. If you have had a bad experience, it does not mean that you do not deserve to be loved or have someone special in your life. The road will seem tough but you will have to walk it. You need to leave your past behind and move to the next stage of your life. If there is anything that reminds you of the horrible abusive times you have had with that person, just get rid of it. Get out there, have fun with your friends and family, and do not be afraid to have some fun in life.
